eggbaconchipsandbeans

Jones Dairy, 24 Tudor Street, EC4

It takes quite a lot of looking to discover this place is called Jones Dairy. With the awning thing up you can't see the sign. And it doesn't matter. None of the people running the place gave the impression of being a Jones. And I bet none of the regular calls it that. It's just the caff. Or the place on the corner. And that's as it should be. Cafes aren't brands. They're places on the corner. Human places. Grub places. They don't need clever names.

And this one doesn't because it does proper, tasty grub. Fast, city-worker, people-in-high-viz jacket, IT dept, grub. No nonsense in and out quickly grub. And there's a geology lesson in there too. The way those beans are slipping under the chips is a very accurate model of elementary plate tectonics. The chips and beans form a sort of lithosphere, the plate (the actual, you know, plate plate) is an asthenosphere. It's solid but can move like a liquid on geological time scales. (Though your tea might go cold if you wait that long.) The bacon and egg are analogous to some of the smaller tectonic plates maybe the Juan De Fuca Plate or the Nazca Plate.

And, as bonus, it's all rather delicious. Cripsy where it needs to be, soft where it should be. Genius.

Would I be going too far if I suggested they look a bit like geological measuring instruments? Probably. Sorry.

Tea, not going cold.

A fantastic place. Highly recommended.

Bridge The Gap, 171F Battersea Park Road, SW8

This is a welcome site. You find yourself between Vauxhall and Battersea early in the morning. Somewhere round there. Maybe you're visiting a delivery company depot because they've failed to deliver your package. Maybe you're picking up a new chum from the Dog's Home. Maybe you're lucky enough to be local. Anyway. It's cold and early and, frankly, a bit miserable. And you see this. You're happy. And soon you'll be full.

Because the ebcb is genius. It's huge. You get the sense that some cafes, when confronted with an ebcb order draw in their horns a little. They shave something off the amounts for each individual constituent part. It's going to be a big meal anyway, why not save a shilling here or there on the overall package. If only to fit it on the plate. Not at Bridge The Gap. Full measures on everything and a plate that can cope with anything you might throw at it. You could fit a tomato and some mushrooms on there if you wanted.  Look at those chips! You could use them as beach defences. Pile them at the shoreline and no tank would pass. They're tasty, plentiful and practical, what more could you want? And they're not skimping with the rest either. A couple of bacon rashers, like mini steaks. A very fair bean apportionment. (And good beans too) And a nicely contained egg. Not wide, certainly, but thick. It has mass that egg. This is a good, cheering, heartfelt breakfast. Let's have a closer look:

Marvellous. Hurrah for Bridge The Gap.

Lovely, complete condiment set. With a nice little stand/container. Not sure what it's for really, except keeping the condiments close together. But it keeps the condiments close together.

And I like the menu system. Big pictures, up by the counter, lots of set options. Lots of temptation.

I love these kinds of chairs. So simple and practical. And, especially when it's empty like this, ordered and pretty. Must be a lot of anxiety about the colour choice though, once you've chosen you're stuck for a long time. This green is a good choice though, distinctive and bright. This is a great place. Must go again.

Platial location

joints, grill, minerals, cigarettes

Phil was kind enough to send me this (he thinks he found it in a junk shop years ago). I love everything about the assumptions embedded in here. These are the food choices we should be making - joints or grill leads to tea, coffee, cake and finishes off nicely with cigarettes.