We couldn't find the language

"What’s the last thing you’re going to think about?

I think the last thing will be tears. Tears of just being fortunate enough to have lived the life I’ve lived. Tears that I’ve brought sadness to certain people. And not being able to convert that to joy.  Sadness that I’ve done some things and been part of some things — even with you, it took us years to get to where we are now. I have sadness over those lost years. But that’s what life is. We couldn’t find the language. What’s most important is that we’ve come together now. When I’m gone, you don’t have to worry about what we could have done. We did it. That’s the most important. Those tears will turn to joy."

From Nature Has Its Way of Ending Life. I’m Changing the Manner and the Time